SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

SLEEPLESS NIGHTS
By Mary Spence
God, it’s me again, she whispers.
She feels guilt take a bite, sending shivers down her spine.
Why is it, she ponders, that the only times
We call on Our Lord
Are in these times of darkness?
She listens intently, for she knows He is there
With His mighty and glorious hand
Shielding her from one more night of torment.
Still frightened, unwilling to close her eyes,
Fearing the terror that holds her firmly in its grip.
Praying to retain that feeling of peace
Bestowed from Heaven above,
Just before closing her eyes;
Letting sleep take her.
He is fighting battles that are troubling her mind and spirit.
As she sleeps,
He watches over her,
Slaying demons
That are vexing to the soul.
She springs out of bed and sleep, and
On bended knee,
She prays for that elusive peace of mind
That binds her to the beauty and grace
Of God in Heaven.
Lord, she prays,
Hear my prayer.
Heal me.
Yes, Lord, I understand, but I am frightened, she cries.
Closing her eyes tightly, she prays;
Lord, I am not worthy, but only say the word,
And I shall be healed.
She stops; listening intently for His Word.
She clings firmly to the knowledge that
He is indeed listening.
I am so cold, she whispers to herself;
Yet, feels oddly burned by intense heat from within.
Those seeds, planted by a mind not yet healed,
Keep falling and falling,
Deep into that place from which there is no return.
Yes, Lord, I am listening; she prays,
Dear Lord, I am not worthy, but
Only say the word and I shall be healed.
I am an empty vessel ready to fulfill thy will.
Yes, she murmurs to herself,
This is the way.
So many times,
For so many years,
She has whispered these words, over and over;
Time and time again;
Praying that she can become
Pleasing in His eyes.
For, in his eyes alone are the answers.
She would do anything, anything if she could
Find her peace of mind;
The peace of mind that was once hers as a child,
A child of God,
Full of grace.